6th of January 2026 (life journal)

Day 4 of unemployment, again. 

I lost my patience, thanks to my overthinking mind, to stop it from imploding, I quit everything again. 

I left Penang, towards Petaling Jaya, in hopes of a better mind. One of the worst working experiences I had in my first 2 months, there were multiple conflicts, and constant confusion, and disappointment, both sides, my employer, and me. So i had to be let go, on a 24 hour notice, what a bum. 

I got re-hired on the 5th, this time in floristry and events. Throughout were conflicts and hope, and the constant need to catch a breath. A whole day of rest can't replenish my energy levels but I had to keep up with my employer. I'd like to say i deserved to be fired, despite how gritted my teeth were. It was a well-planned road, but I had to let circumstances affect me, and expect others to understand. I had many red flags, like repetitive mistakes, and crashing the car, and blurryness in work. They had red flags too, the entire bunch in the company is just relatives and family, which immeadiately drew a line against me from day one. I tried my best to not mind it, and alas I am driven out of the company. There were many thing I wanted to do, which in two months time I failed to do so, but I was very busy, trying to keep up their tempo, I had to make time to sleep, which was good for me, eventually I lost weight, and I had a consistent energy consumption everyday, sleep was easy, just had to close my eyes.

And so, the day came, I had mistakenly approached for a sales opportunity, hoping for it to be the start of the premium floral brand for the company. Getting fired infront of all your colleagues, and being left in a place you don't know, having to take a cab home. 

And so my mind is in a blur, I can't think of anything, I haven't accepted reality. and so, and so i dont know.